The Nine Year Experiment

I’m going to start this post off in a way that will let you all know exactly what I’m talking about. I have been on the ketogenic diet for one month. Ah, you might say, that stupid fad diet thing where people eat a lot of protein and fat and harbor a death wish. I understand how it might look, how it does look, when the whole rest of the world is telling you to eat tons of veggies and grains and go light on the meat and fat. I get it… I lived it… and it was making me fat and sick.

So, let’s start at the beginning. Not the big bang, but about ten years ago when I started working at Whole Foods. At that time, I was the thinnest I’d been in my adult life. A svelte 150 pounds, size 6 jeans, world at my fingertips as a thirty-two-year-old. I walked, I did yoga, I meditated, and I ate a pretty decent diet (excepting those times when the sugar cravings would do me in). Fish, chicken, pork, beef, all with copious veggies – solid fare.

Now I must speculate on what happened next, but my best guess is something like this: at Whole Foods Market, the butcher picks up raw meat, slaps it onto a wax-coated paper to weigh it, rolls it up, hands it to the customer, who then brings it up to the front, lays it on the conveyor belt, and me – as your cashier – I pick it up, scan it, and bag it. During one of those times, I believe I somehow got hold of an uncooked meat “bug.” I was out of work two weeks. I could barely stand up straight. My guts were in excruciating pain and I often felt weak and sick. By the time I got to the doctor, I’d heard all kinds of remedies, special foods, etc, and was finally offered antibiotics. It eventually cleared up… so I thought.

Enter the Engine Two diet. Plant based, vegan. Whole Foods loved it, and offered it to their employees. If you passed their tests after going on the diet, you could get more of a percentage off for your employee discount! Woot! Discounts! During that time, I had noticed, simultaneously, that anytime I ate meat, I felt sick. Red meat was the worst – it made me want to vomit and gave me those familiar gut pains. (And here is where I believe that whatever bug I’d picked up had pretty much turned my guts against meat.) So, after a phasing out period, my husband and I were finally vegetarian (still ate eggs and dairy). It felt good. It felt like we were helping the planet. It felt like we’d been given this great answer to not only my issues, but would help our kids too. That was 2010.

I need to pause briefly to mention something. Because of my fast food diet back in the late 90’s, early aughts, I’d had to have my thyroid removed in 2004/2005. I had an awesome goiter growing in my neck that was pressing inward, rather than out. It was cutting off my airway. The surgeon told me it was the size of a baseball… I no longer had a thyroid, I’ve been on replacement hormones since, so going vegetarian felt like a vindication against the Standard American Diet (SAD) as well. The diet that hurt me long ago, I’d grown from and learned not to eat (trust me – Supersize fries, Fish fillet, large Dr. Pepper, and a small Oreo McFlurry with extra Oreo – this was my SLAM). Vegetarian was simply my next step.

By now, given the title and the lead-in, I think you know where this is heading. Over the past ten years, I’ve gained, and lost, then gained more, lost a little, gained more, lost a little, in a trend that mirrors the best of a bull market… but the gains are around my middle and thighs, rather than my bank account. In 2014, I lost my gallbladder because, get ready, it was full of sludge and decided it had had enough when I ate some particularly fattening food one night. Full of sludge??? Apparently that low-fat, high-carb way of eating makes your gallbladder keep it’s bile… for far too long.

Here I was, continuing to grow my midsection and various other parts… size 6, size 10, size 12, size 14, size 16… 194 pounds. And it didn’t seem to matter what the hell I did. I’d taken my sugar consumption down to literally, 4-6 teaspoons a day. No sodas ever. No juice. Just me and Luna Bars along with soups, potatoes, rice dishes (because my husband and son are diagnosed Celiacs)… yet here I was, creeping up the scales. And with that weight gain, came the cholesterol.

WAIT A MINUTE! Cholesterol? Are you kidding me? I fully and whole-heartedly believed that a vegetarian diet FIXED cholesterol. Instead, I watched as my triglycerides continued their inexorable march upward in time with my weight, same with my LDL, even as my HDL crept below the “low” marker. My certified nurse practitioner at the time, a very hard-nosed woman who very much felt herself the end of the road, pushed for me to get on statins. My cardiologist said she’d never put anyone my age on statins. My CNP continued to test my cholesterol every three months – not caring about my thyroid numbers jumping around from pole to pole on the chart – just ever repeating that I was going to die (literally said it) if I didn’t get on statins.

Terrified doesn’t really begin to come close to what I was feeling. Even now, I’m still dealing with the trauma that my CNP inflicted on me. I changed to a new doctor. This doctor, while kinder than the CNP and not nearly as ready to toss a pill down my throat, told me that my weight was because I still ate dairy and was “no spring chicken.” Back pain? You’re old and fat. Cholesterol? You’re old, fat, and eating cheese! His prescription was: exercise more, eat less, and prepare to deal with things because… you’re old. And fat.

He gave me the name of a nutritionist only because I’d asked. And I walked out of the office feeling like the ground I was walking on… defeated, flat, and beaten. Why try? I didn’t eat anywhere close to the way people do… you know the kind… pizza worshippers, bacon gluttons, fry fiends… yet, I was just growing perilously close to looking and feeling exactly like them as they age.

I want to stop here for a moment and caveat. Please, don’t misconstrue my irritation with my own situation for fat shaming. Far from it. My weight was making me sick and putting me in danger of exacerbating my heart condition (a small mitral valve leak – hence my having a cardiologist, who told me that when I got older, I might need a surgery, but for now, not to worry. My mother died when she was 25 of the same condition, though hers was a result of trying to lose weight with Phen-Phen…). If you are large and healthy, more power to you. I… wasn’t.

So… here I was. Sitting at home, staring off at the wall, wondering to myself if I wasn’t going to make it to old age, but instead would die in mid-life because, well, the answer to every question I asked my doctor was “old and fat” but no one was helping me figure out why the fat. Why the rise in my cholesterol? And sure, perimenopause was on a few lips and certainly a valid thing. After all, this was the first time in my life that no matter what I did, the weight only went one direction… skyward.

One of the members of Eugene Panfilov Ballet of the Fat.  https://www.rbth.com/multimedia/pictures/2016/05/03/plus-size-ballet_588993

Over the next few months, throwing myself a pity party, I decided to hell with it. I ate when I wanted, what I wanted, and be-damned. I could learn to love myself, after all, Lizzo does, right? I’ve seen large ballerinas doing their thing and rocking it. I’ve watched plus-sized women doing yoga positions that I couldn’t even beg my body to do. I’d just do what I could do and toss the rest to the wind. If I died, well… we all will eventually. If my back finally broke me down, so be it. Everyone told me it was super curved and would cause me pain, so… guess this was my lot. No help for me. Woe is me. Pity, pity, and a shame.

It was during this time, as I continued to gain weight, that I found a holistic doctor (I know, I know, let me finish) on YouTube (seriously! Let me finish!). Dr. Sten Ekberg. Every thumbnail of his videos looked like grade-A clickbait. I can’t tell you why I watched one of his videos… but shock when this man dove into science. Now… if you know me, you know I’m a giant nerd. Microbiology is one of my favorite things (and yes, I’ve absolutely considered a degree, but… more school means more money I don’t have). Here he was talking about cellular functions and the ways of thermogenesis on fat, types of exercises to do while fat, and why aerobics are not the correct answer. All the while I’m getting fired up. I’m watching more because I’m understanding things, and he starts talking Keto. I thought of a couple of friends of mine that went on this, “Keto Diet.” I’d seen them drop weight and had been amazed, all while thinking… ‘That’s a ton of meat… holy crap.’ I thought… what exactly *is* this, “Keto Diet?”

High fat, low carb. Your body will burn fat (ketones) instead of carbs for fuel. Fat 75%-80%, protein 10-15%, carbs 0-5%. (And yes, zero. Amazingly enough, there is no such thing as an essential carb, but I digress…) Under 50 grams of carbs a day. I laughed and rolled my eyes. I’m a vegetarian with no thyroid or gallbladder. Well, it was neat learning about it. But I started to question this… and I think it was a nudge from the universe… just keep listening. So, I saw Fat Head, a movie done by a snarky conservative (at least how I imagine him), who thumbed his nose at his doctor (and debunked Morgan Spurlock’s “Supersize Me”) by eating nothing but fast food for a month while keeping his carbs under 100grams. (Not technically ketogenic, but considered low carb.) His cholesterol went down and he lost 12 pounds. Things clicked. I had to try. So, I watched talks from Dr. Stephen Phinney who did research in the 80’s and 90’s using high-endurance athletes, Dr. Eric Westman who has researched the diet and wrote medical papers on the subject with his and other people’s findings, Professor Tim Noakes (you know the one, he is a South African professor who was sued by Coca-Cola et. al. for publishing results from putting patients on a high fat, low carb diet and won as he proved his case), Dr. Annette Bosworth who cured her mother’s cancer with Keto and runs a clinic where she’s helped hundreds of patients get off insulin and put their diabetes and certain cancers into remission, Gary Taubes – a health journalist (whose book I’m currently reading as well) who showed how Ancel Keys mobbed the nutrition science of his day to create the Food Pyramid and gain notoriety while doing shoddy science, Dr. Georgia Ede who broke down the footnotes in these scientific papers that claim fat is bad to show they were horribly done epidemiological studies, Nina Teicholz (whose book I read) who is also a health-journalist revealing many of the things Taubes uncovered plus more, Dr. Becky Gillaspy who runs a channel talking about keto for women, Dr. Mary Vernon who has a clinic where she’s helped *thousands* of patients come off insulin and no longer have diabetes, Professor Roger Unger and his talk on the role of insulin and glucose in mice, and of course, Dr. Robert Lustig who broke down the science of sugar in the body like no other.

Can I just say… I’ve done my research, and chose to only listen to people with skin in the game… PhDs, Professors… people who mainstream science shut down. People who have done studies. People who have patients. People who eat ketogenic and have for, some, 20 plus years.

Hmm… but my gallbladder. I found out that the gall bladder only stores 20-30ml of bile at a time (which it super-concentrates) to give you a boost when you eat a super fatty meal. All the rest, the 120-150ml cycling through your system is made by your liver and is constant. You can encourage your liver to make more by eating fatty foods… so… I started small… but I started. I weighed myself daily, took my blood pressure daily, monitored my glucose and ketone levels daily (blood drop test), measured my body every 4-5 days, and kept a nutrition diary that was down to the hundreths of grams of every single thing I put in my mouth. When I go all in, I go hard.

I’m now positive through all my blathering that you’re ready for some results, right? Here you are:
1 month on a ketogenic diet, carbs under 50g.
Weight: 196 down to 183. (13 pounds. In a month. Full stop.)

Bloodwork:

Total cholesterol: 230 up to 233

HDL: 42 up to 44

LDL: 157 up to 165

Triglycerides: 155 down to 118.

Ho-lee-crap.

So, for those of you wondering about those numbers that went up, there’s a lot of science behind it, but the quick and dirty is this: LDL, which everyone is afraid of, is made up of multiple densities of lipoproteins. The big two are, small-dense LDL (Pattern B) which are a DISASTER for your heart, and large-bouyant LDL (Pattern A) particles, which are known to be benign as they are “fluffy” (think floating clouds) and unable to enter your arteries like Pattern-B can. The gist is, when you see high LDL in conjunction with high Triglycerides, you know you are dealing with Pattern-B particles.

My crude understanding… Cholesterol is not bad! Your body needs it to help create cell membranes and many other things, and often is what your body produces when there is damage to your arteries (inflammation and the like) to help heal it (think of firemen [LDL] carrying water [cholesterol] to a fire [inflammation]). Pattern-B by virtue of its size and tendency to carry tons of triglycerides, “falls” into the damage, and dumps its cargo… triglycerides (LOTS of them)… into the arterial walls which harden into plaque, which then causes atherosclerosis and boom… heart attack as your arteries narrow. Pattern-A, the large “fluffy” kind, can heal damage without falling in and it just doesn’t carry as many triglycerides. It drifts about not causing trouble, shuttling cholesterol about as well as nutrients, simply doing its job. How do you get your body to make less of the Pattern-B and more of those puffy clouds? You eat a high fat, low carb diet and cut out grains, starches, and sugar. Strictly speaking, you have more LDL, yes, but they are the “good” LDL rather than the “kill you” kind. The crazy thing? Eating all that fat is also a way to raise your HDL. I am one month in and excited by the shift… the real boost comes after being keto for about 2-3 months.

What other things have I noticed? I’m glad you asked:
1) My back pain is gone. I may have twinges now and again… but gone. Poof.

2) Oddly enough, my eyesight is better. Let me correct that… the time it takes from my eyes to focus from short to long distance is almost instant. Before keto? I would squint at the television across the room after being on my computer. I literally could not read the words on the screen for about 20 minutes. Fixed.

3) The energy I have is AMAZING. Where I could barely manage to work out for 10 minutes before (high intensity), I can now go 20+. I can walk distances without feeling out of breath.

4) My joint pain is gone. (Frankly, this and my back let me know my inflammation was through the roof.)

5) My heart palpitations have all but stopped. I may get one or two here and there, but compared to daily? Magical.

6) My blood pressure is down! 124/70 was before, I regularly am 114/70 – 99/70.

7) The mental clarity is astounding. With a steady blood sugar level and no up and down? I wake up just as clear headed as when I go to bed. I can focus… intently… and it feels like it felt when I’d meditate. Scout’s Honor, I’m not making this up.

8) I. AM. NOT. HUNGRY. All caps, because it’s the biggest one. I was a slave to the kitchen, constantly working to stop myself from going in and chowing down, constantly thinking about what I was going to eat next. In two days – it was gone. That buzzing in my brain… just… stopped. It was the strangest sense of calm I’ve had in my life – not counting a near-drowning experience I had when I was 12, but that’s another story for another time. Literally, I ate until I was sated. Then, I craved NOTHING. Do you know the liberation I felt… the sheer joy in feeling like I’d been unshackled from that part of my existence? I didn’t crave sugar, bread, carbs… I don’t ever want to go back.

9) My cramps on my period? About 80% better. In fact, all the little odd things that had been happening to me making me think I was starting perimenopause? Gone.

10) Far from keto being a dearth of only fat… I found I ate more veggies than I had as a vegetarian. I know… but, my fridge is stocked with radishes, cucumbers, bell peppers, zucchini, yellow-neck squash, Brussels sprouts, spinach, blueberries, strawberries, avocados… beautiful colors. I have nuts but eat them sparingly – sunflower seeds, macadamia nuts…

11) Last… I noticed that being vegetarian, while completely doable on this diet, no longer served me.

I’d given nine-years of my life to vegetarianism and it was killing me. I make no claims for anyone else, and in no way am I blind to the ethical issues surrounding meat production, but for me – the things I learned about my body and the way it should function (Dr. Eckberg said it best, “Species Appropriate Diet for humans”), was that I am programmed to eat fat. We all are. And one of the best ways to get it, is wrapped in the gift of meat. I feel heretical saying this, but… not all fats are equal. The superior fat for people to eat, is saturated fat. After eating cheese, drinking milk, heavy cream, avocado, Beyond Burgers (vegetarian meat)… I realized that I wanted to appropriately fuel this incredible machine. Since frying up Beyond Burgers was introducing harmful levels of Omega 6’s… I decided the nine-year-experiment was concluded. I eat meat… but not just lean. I eat all of it. Tonight’s dinner? Two chicken thighs with skin on, baked, drizzled in olive oil with a side of egg salad (homemade mayo) and half a cucumber. I don’t even flinch… it tastes exquisite.

Issues? I had a few, I won’t lie. During week two, my energy completely tanked. My 20 minute went down to 7, but luckily with all the information I’d read and watched, I knew that was part of it and it would come back within a few weeks. (It has been slowly, apparently about 6 weeks is when you finally see the surge – I’m just starting week 5.) That same week, I woke up depressed every day. It took me about an hour to shake it off, but I definitely had to just keep swimming in those moments. The brain fog made me feel like I was swimming in slime – I simply couldn’t think straight… almost like I’d been awake 48 hours straight. About week 3, things were right as rain. I also had to learn what my body was telling me. As Dr. Phinney said, on keto, we don’t even live on the same continent anymore as everyone else. Hunger signals are different, and woe to you if you don’t heed them. Salt is crucial – 3-7 grams of sodium needed per day… unheard of on the SAD, but my Lord, once you have salt your “keto flu” is gone in 15 minutes flat. Other than that, nothing much to report. Week two, I’ll say, was absolutely the hardest and I’d never wish it on anyone. But… I held on to the bronco because I was in it to win it, I’m delighted I did.

Lastly, after seeing me and my triumphs, both of my sons adopted the low-carb life. My eldest (19) stays under 100g of carbs and noticed that his stomach troubles have evaporated. My youngest (18) is fully keto and has lost enough weight that he fits pants that were too tight for him. Of course, we’ve discovered the wonders of natural sweeteners that have no effect on insulin (monk fruit, stevia, allulose) and still get to have the occasional sweet treat because of them.

In all? I can’t see ever going back. I feel more in control of my health than I ever have before. I can see the results both in my weight, concurrent health issues being resolved, and in my bloodwork. I’m one month in and can’t wait to see the continued benefits as many others have. And to think, we knew about this way of eating all the way back to the 1800’s with Mr. Banting and his stunning weight loss. You read that right… 1800’s.

Here’s where I’ll end. Thank you for reading, and I encourage any of you that want to look into this amazing way of eating, visit the names mentioned above on YouTube. Read their books! (Yes, even Atkins, who as I’ve learned was far from a quack.) Real deal science backing this whole thing, and now, I get to be living proof that not only does it work, but can even work for someone with no gallbladder and no thyroid. I’m yet another voice in the chorus now, and I will keep singing forever.

Want to learn more about cholesterol specifics? Visit https://drjockers.com/high-cholesterol-ketogenic-diet/ from whom I borrowed a graphic. For an even more in depth look, visit: https://www.docsopinion.com/2012/11/21/the-difference-between-ldl-c-and-ldl-p/